Thursday, November 20, 2014 {8:36 PM}
♥ Out Of The Book
After a week of not posting,
I am back.
And unfortunately, not with Chapter 2.
Stay hungry.
Today we're going 'Out Of The Book'
aka away from all the chapters of 2014.
Well today we're just going to get personal.
Well it all started when I was walking around my house
in my underwear and I realize:
'Damn I got some balls ( no I actually don't have balls ) to do shit like this.'
For all of you who think that it's weird walking around with your underwear
WHEN NOBODY IS HOME:
You are seriously missing out of some good stuff .
Like seriously.
A lot of people if not everybody I know tend to have insecurities.
So they're afraid to show skin, let alone be comfortable in their own skin.
I'm not just talking about females by the way,
males are humans too and they have insecurities.
You know what makes my heartache?
When I see a really adorable person that I simply adore endlessly
continuously insult themselves about
'Not Being Good Enough'
Oh darling, you got to understand that
you're not the one who is ugly,
society is.
Oops truth spoken don't arrest me.
I feel like some people need to gain more confidence.
And I as a friend should help them.
Today, we're going to focus mainly on looks as that is to me,
one of the biggest factors of insecurities and besides,
people judge you at first sight from your looks.
Admit it.
Trust me,
for me to be writing all this to you today and
interacting with so many people,
it took time and lots of effort.
Let me just talk about how goddamn insecure I was back then.
And even maybe now.
Back then I NEVER, EVER wanted to take a selfie.
Why?
Because I WAS FUCKING UGLY THAT'S WHY.
Some people who were born with good looks and perfect skin don't understand shit like this.
They can never, I fucking swear, empathize with you,
But I can (sadly heh)
I always admired the people who weren't afraid of taking selfies.
Those who post like a Instagram picture a day with their face.
Seriously?
These are people who has so much confidence
that they are proud to show their face to the society.
Besides being annoying by spamming your feed with their faces,
they're hella confidence.
And I think they deserve a clap for that.
Yay you.
Well done you whores.
I love you too.
The thing that we should all learn from them is how
to love yourself
and appreciate who the fuck you are.
Sure you can look unglam in every photo but
hey, at least it can make people laugh?
Yeah I want you to fight with all those inner demons,
tell those motherfuckers that
BITCH, I AM HELLA FINE.
I MAY LOOK LIKE A CLOWN BUT
EUNICE SAID I'M HELA FINE.
Look at yourself in the mirror and learn to appreciate who you are.
Because goddamn, you are good looking.
And HELLA FINE.
I get it, some of us has so many fucking imperfections,
that it gets so hard to go out everyday and be comfortable with our skin.
If you want to be confident,
you have to put in the effort.
Ya'll think fucking Santa going to come up to your door being like
'Oh hello dear here's some beauty for Christmas now you're perfect.'
Even a 4 year old asian knows that ain't going to happen for SHIT.
Don't ever run up to me,
crying about how ugly/fat you are,
and how you don't bother trying,
because if you want me to help you:
For me to struct around in my underwear,
wear crop tops or whatever,
it takes confidence.
And where do I get that from?
From the efforts I made.
I know how being ugly feels.
I know how it feels like to wake up everyday
to see pimples FUCKING PIMPLES GEEZUS invading my face.
seeing a bloated face,
seeing tummy fats,
fat thighs and stretchmarks.
I know how this shit feels like.
It feels like fucking shit that is how it feels like.
Waking up to see that ugly face everyday,
watching how people are so pretty/handsome while you ain't even close,
I know that fucking feel.
And it took quite sometimes for me to come to where I am today,
on how I am confident with my body.
And how I am confident with the way I interact with people.
Back then I was so upset with my body.
People called me fat.
And they still do today.
But honestly, I may not be a stick but I love my body.
Sure I have fat thighs and fat butt,
but I learnt how to love it.
I used to work out so much,
going running just to impress the guys when I'm finally thin.
But seriously Eunice,
WHO are you trying to impress here?
SO WHAT if you became thinner?
Is there people going to clap for you?
No.
You know why?
Because you weren't even fat in the first place.
Boom, just like that I finally realise how to love my body.
I told myself that so what if people called me fat?
Bitch I ain't even 50kg how am I fat?
So to all the bitches who called me fat or ugly or whatever shit,
1.
Fuck you.
2.
Thank you for the insult but no thanks.
3.
Victims just don't get it.
They don't get how they're not fat or ugly at all in the first place.
And when they do get it, they will fucking facepalm,
laugh about it and love themselves.
We all have insecurities but there's two ways to deal with it.
If you think you're fat, work out.
Go to the gym, go take a run, improve until you're happy with your body.
Remember,
it's not how people see you,
it's how YOU see yourself.
And know that it takes time.
Unhappy about your face?
Don't like the pimples on your face?
Then buy some pimple cream,
get a face cleanser whatever, research about why you have pimples on certain areas.
Trust me,
if you really wanted a perfect skin,
you have to put in lots of efforts.
The amount of effort you put in will reflect on the results.
Insecure about making friends and speaking up?
Practice my dear practice.
Start by speaking more to your friends
and slowly work your way up the social ladder.
It's okay to be awkward, everybody is.
Finally, just be happy.
Be happy with yourself.
If you want to be confident, you got to be happy with yourself.
Just like how I am happy with myself now.
Remember, there's always a sliver lining.
As long as you think positive,
you'll still find many reasons to love yourself.
Sure, I grow endless amount of pimples
BUT my pimples are not permanent.
I may have dry skin
BUT I can always cure it with moisturizer which I am too lazy to use
I may be hairy
BUT I can always shave, Duh.
I may have stretchmarks on my thighs,
BUT I can always buy the stretchmark fading cream to cure it.
I may have wrinkly hands,
BUT Sean stills like holding my hand.
I may have people who hate me
BUT I have people who love me.
Did you see what I did there?
It all comes down to you and your mindset.
And how you take in those 'insults'.
You can laugh it off or you could brood about it all night crying to yourself.
It's your choice.
Anyway,
it's not about just the looks.
To find confidence,
you can find stuff that you enjoy or is good in.
For me,
I feel confident and happy when cooking, dancing whatever.
So find your own confidence,
there's TONS of methods to smile.
The human mind is an extraordinary thing.
It can kill you, destroy you,
but yet if you turn on the happy switch,
you'll never be happier.
Oh and remember,
Stay smiley dear.
And see you on Chapter 2.
Oh and holy shit you guys I have over 1k views on my blog for the first post you guys are fucking insane bye I love you
Sunday, November 9, 2014 {6:54 AM}
♥ Two Thousand Fourteen Miles.
After 45678392 years, I'm back to blogging again.
This blog post will entertain you for 5 minutes (depending on your reading speed.)
T W O
T H O U S A N D
F O U R T E E N
One of the worst and the best fucking year ever.
Chapter 1:
Chapter 2:
Eunice The Motherly Slut.
Chapter 3:
Hello Sean.
Chapter 4:
It's Okay. It's Always Okay.
Firstly, chill.
Despite this being a long post, trust me it'll won't be boring at least.
Especially if you're a student.
Or if you have troubles figuring life out.
Or if you just want a good laugh ( Specially For SST Friends )
Here we go!
Chapter 1:
I was finally in Sec 3.
Many things changed and people hated change.
But deep down inside, we all knew change was the only thing constant.
Anyway, let me just mention a bit of 2013.
I HATED 2013.
Sure, every year has beautiful moments but 2013 was one of the years,
that broke me.
If you remembered, back in 2012,
I was just this girl with this fugly bangs, pimple face, crooked teeth and $20 spectacles.
I had what people called 'the geek/nerd' face.
And trust me, if you're imaging about some hot chick with a nerd glasses or shit like that,
That's not what I was.
To put it simply,
I looked like utter horse shit crap.
I didn't have many friends.
Not many people knew me or my face unless they're in my class.
Then 2013 came and boom hello new face.
Said goodbye to my spectacles,
put on braces,
killed the pimples
and suddenly people knew me.
I got to know so many new people and for the first time,
guys were interested in me.
Okay okay listen, I know what you're thinking
"Is this bitch bragging now?!??! Aw wtf dude."
Naw naw naw hold on there you lil beautiful soul.
I ain't bragging.
When I was sec 1, no seniors knew me.
Only a handful of people from other classes knew me.
And suddenly in Sec 2, people I don't even know KNEW MY NAME.
They greeted me when they walked past.
And suddenly I had confessions and I had relationships.
I was so damn gullible.
I had to be fooled,
not once,
not twice,
BUT THREE TIMES
only to realise what the fuck I was doing wrong.
If you're young in heart,
never been in a relationship,
a young innocent creature,
a beautiful virgin (in relationships) female/male.
LISTEN TO ME.
I tell you, 3 of these relationships in 2013 didn't last no shit.
I was so gullible.
I WAS USED.
But these 3 people taught me so much.
Shoutout to the first guy:
FUCK YOU.
Shoutout to the second:
DON'T DATE PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU PITY THEM
Shoutout to the third:
DO NOT TREAT FEMALES LIKE THAT.
The first guy was like my fairytale.
Fake.
Imagine:
A 14 year old me was so happy because for the first time,
somebody was interested in me.
I didn't know anything about him, we talked only for like 3 days and boom.
He asked if we could date.
Little did I know he was just finding a female to play with.
Somebody that could satisfy his 'pervert needs'.
Shit nigga.
AND YO YO YO BEFORE YOU THINK OF SOME INAPPROPRIATE STUFF.
Nothing happened.
I was so upset tho.
When I told him I didn't want to do all the shit he wanted,
bitch didn't talk to me and found a new girl.
He got into disciplinary issues.
Suspension.
I hoped he learnt his lesson.
The Second Guy.
Was a experiment honestly.
I wanted to move on so much that I 'forced' this relationship.
Okay not forced but I wanted a relationship.
So me and this guy talked.
Talked for lots of days/weeks,
He was interested,
I was interested.
And boom.
A relationship sparked off.
However as I was slowly learning how to pour my heart out,
it turns out he liked me for awhile,
but his heart was still with his first crush.
One word:
So what was I?
A temporary replacement?
Anyway just like the 1st guy,
this relationship didn't last for even a month.
I would like to take this moment
to thank god for giving me the sign that these guys
Ain't worth shit :)
The Third Guy
HAH he's still my good friend until today.
He didn't like like me.
He thought of me as a goal.
As a reason.
Why he wanted to go to school.
That's pretty fucked up hello you've been sending the wrong signals to me.
Because he was my good friend, I had a lot of emotional trauma
despite how dramatic that sounds.
Because he told me he wanted to change me.
He wanted to me to stop being the way I am.
That's why he's spending so much time on me.
To change me.
And he told me how my friends didn't like me.
And how he was the only one who cared enough to change me.
If a friend tells you that and you goddamn knows how
kind hearted and innocent and beautiful your heart is,
YOU DON'T NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT.
GET THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE.
If you know you're a bitch to everybody, then fuck yeah be a better person.
But if you have never offended anybody, only know how to love them and always put them in front of yourself,
Sure, you'll gullible and usually taken advantage on
BUT GODDAMNIT.
Your soul is so fucking beautiful.
You're so fucking kind and caring for the people you love.
Stay That Way.
Here's my experience after I found out that he wanted to change me:
He broke me.
He made me cry during the nights,
he made me question myself.
HE MADE ME QUESTION IF BEING NICE WAS A BAD THING.
Do you honestly not see how fucked up that is?
Is the society telling us that being nice is equal to being dumb?
Is society telling us that in life you have to be a bitch to be successful?
Because you know what? I'm still young.
True friends still exists.
We're not in what the drama usually shows ; trust no one cause they'll all backstabbers.
So instead of making your life into a endless, useless drama,
learn to love.
Love yourself and the people you know deserved to be loved.
If they backstab you or whatever, it's their loss.
Months passed and hello big mama Chan.
I no longer care about what people I don't know/ don't care about think about me.
I just know that
I should love the people that loves me.
And care for those who cares.
So if you're a friend of mine,
know that I care and love you.
And you're precious to me.
But if you hate me lol bitch your loss,
I know very well that I'm a fantastic friend to people.
It's your loss losing me.
Not mine.
This concludes the 1st chapter,
I hope some of you learnt some things from this especially my lil innocent pumpkins.
Don't let people destroy your beautiful soul.
EVERYBODY NEEDS TO FIND A SEAN LIM IN THEIR LIFE.
(Ps Don't try stealing my boyfriend)
Somebody who makes you feel loved and beautiful and has the same cute heart as yours.
